Over There

I think everyone who should really hear this by phone has heard by now, so it's okay to post on here about the Cap'n leaving this Thursday for Baghdad.

Yep, that Baghdad. You know, the one with all the shooting and dying and carrying on.

I'm having a hard time right now not self-censoring and editing this post before I even write it. What with keeping myself busy being just fine.

Let's put my feelings in algebraic form:

X but Y.

I am proud of him and supportive, BUT I'm worried about him going there.
I am sure he will do a great job, BUT I don't want him to get hurt.
I am a confident woman who can handle being alone, BUT I am a 33-week pregnant lady with an active toddler and a dog and I get tired.

The Cap'n was asked to go by his work (not as part of the military), and he'll only be there for a month. He should be back two weeks before my due date, and since Slim was 4 days late, I'm not really worried about him missing anything.

I also know lots of people have it worse than me. Though it is not helpful to the Cap'n's cause when HE points it out. There are military families separated by a year or more. Guardsmen suffer loss of businesses, salaries, etc. with their extended deployments. There's been plenty written elsewhere of the overextension of U.S. troops and the affect it has had on them and their families. I'm not going to get political right now.

I'm just knitting and trying to stave off worries by not reading too many of the news stories out there. The Cap'n has been getting ready all week, so we've had a taste of him not being around. And it's already hard. This does not bode well.

As I told a friend of ours who was in Baghdad for 8 weeks doing the same thing as the Cap'n, it's about ME. I know the Cap'n can handle himself and I'm comfortable with what his workplace is doing as far as security goes. I'm stressed about handling things around here for a month while he's gone and my belly gets bigger. The third trimester tiredness is definitely starting to kick in, and I have the millionth cold of this pregnancy.

My family is prepared to swoop in (Thank God), and I think the grandpas are going to come to entertain the boy. And I have plenty of activities to keep me busy...I keep telling myself it will be fine. And that's all I can do.

It'll be fine, right?