This morning out hasn't relieved any of the anxiety I'm feeling or helped me get anything done on the law school stuff. I can't focus on it. I'm still writing the personal statement, and I don't know what I want to say.
I want to say that the month ahead is looming like an incoming mortar, just bound to wreck something in my world. I want to admit to being easily distracted, but then scream at the first person who suggests that I don't have a reason to be: "Excuse the hell out of me, but are you 7 weeks from your due date with a willful toddler as your sole responsibility and a husband who is going to a war zone where they just shot 5 U.S. civilians?!!?"
How stupid would it be to hit the 95th percentile on the LSAT and not go to law school?
Of course, now I'm thinking I would be better off applying next year, with my applications due around Baby Dos's 1st birthday. That way I would start school when he/she is a year and a half and Slim is 3. If I can't work at home now on writing with just one kid, how am I going to do it with another infant?
But then, that may just be a rationalization on my part to justify not doing these damn applications.
God, I hate this.