Thursday, August 27, 2009

Pretty Much There Already

From here:

Caregiver burnout is something you may not notice, but people you know may notice changes in you and express their concern. Here are some signs of caregiver burnout:

Being on the verge of tears or crying a lot
Feeling helpless or hopeless
Overreacting to minor nuisances
Feeling constantly exhausted
Losing interest in work
Decrease in productivity of work
Withdrawing from social contacts
Increasing use of alcohol or stimulants
Nervous habits such as chain smoking
Change in eating patterns
Change in sleeping patterns
Increasing use of medications for sleeplessness, anxiety, depression
Inability to relax
Scattered thinking
Feeling increasingly resentful
Being short-tempered with care recipient frequently
Increasing thoughts of death

Things I am Learning #93850183

I need too much validation for my work. And my primary jobs right now (motherhood and the part-time gig) offer none.

Particularly motherhood is a thankless job. But there's plenty of guilt and fear that I'm going to screw it up.

Just like everything else.

Can we just say that I'm having a bad morning?

Not sure how to turn around this horrible year I'm having...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

AAAUUGGH! The Digital...

Slim's camera is kaput.

So there is no photographic proof of me finishing up two very cool projects.

The first is a knitting/felting project that I started probably 2 years ago (eek!). I found a beautifully dyed New Zealand wool at KnittinSis's yarn store in Bloomington, IN. Something about the blue, green and yellow called to me.

So I cast on that same weekend on a borrowed KnitPicks Options (you can have that 60" length back now, KnittinSis!) and it languished ever since. Do you know how big bags have to be pre-felted if you want more than a iPod cozy??


But since the advent of the tendinitis, I've discovered that pure knitting with no purling isn't as taxing on my hand. And since I recently had to dump out the whole stash and rearrange it, I vowed a new-found commitment to finishing up old projects. And slowly but surely this last month I've worked on it.

(Insert imaginary picture of pretty felted bag here.) (Alas, the camera...)

I still need to sew on the handle and figure out how to sew a liner, in addition to coming up with two pretty buttons for clasps, but it's actually come out better than I thought it would.

The second project is a surprise for the non-KnittinSis. It's a weaving, and I hesitate to say more before she gets it in the mail. Which is sort of a problem, given that I haven't mailed it yet.

But for the record: A second weaving project has made its way off the loom.

(Insert imaginary weaving picture here.)


Monday, August 24, 2009

First Days

Today I would have started law school, but it's been deferred.

I'm a little sad, but realistic that I wouldn't have been ready.

Ah well.

Next year.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Hey Y'all! Watch This!!

So I started to write a post last night, but was interrupted by:

Slim: "Ewwww!! Mom, Mom! L pooped in the bathtub!!"


Anyway, as I was about to say:

International Weaving Woman of Mystery

Sorry for the crappy webcam quality (the digital camera seems to have given up the ghost), but LOOK -----> We Have A Weaving!!

I am more than pleased to announce the start of a new hobby. Can't say the same for The Cap'n, but he's been incredibly supportive of it.

It's been a long, interesting year. Last year around this time, I had just helped close down a fiber arts workshop that unfortunately couldn't be saved. I wish that I would have had about $50,000 of my own to turn it around. But I did what I could, and before I helped sweep up the last dust bunnies and box up the last yarn, I was encouraged to buy a donated Beka 32" rigid heddle loom.

They were really good fiber pushers around there.

I was a little shell-shocked after the store closed though, and felt very guilty that I couldn't do more to save it. So the Beka sat in a box under the bed for the last year. Around the time that I was working at the store, I also tried biking again and the tendenitis in my left thumb started acting up too.

So other than a couple of knitted hats over the last year, I was off fiber. I got a little stopped up with out my daily dose. (So to speak...)

But I missed it. Terribly. I just didn't know it.

Then on May 6, the Cap'n was involved in a bad motorcycle accident on his way to work. A woman pulling out from a stop sign didn't see him, and hit him. He shattered his right wrist and elbow, and broke 4 vertebrae in his back.

Talk about a game changer. He's doing better now, but it's been a long, hot, miserable summer. I had to return to fiber just to hang on to the last drips of my sanity that were seeping out of my ears.

So about a month ago, my KnittinSis came to visit, and I got her to help me dust off the loom and figure out what screws I needed to put the floor stand together.

It's a monster. 32" is not a shy and retiring size. Luckily the Cap'n doesn't mind it taking up one big corner of the dining room. I haven't named it yet, but maybe one will come to me.

For a first project, I decided to wind up some Louet Opal superwash yarn that I had purchased from Springwater in its first, healthier incarnation. It seemed karmically correct. I had navy blue and spring green, and I wanted to make a table runner.

Bear in mind, I saw people work on the rigid heddles at the store, and I saw warping being done, but I was way too busy to learn any of it. But I guess some of it came through osmosis, and a lot came through the innerwebs. I found this and this to be helpful.

Turns out I should have used a 10-dent heddle instead of an 8-dent, and superwash actually doesn't full (or felt) that much in the wash. And even selvedges? HA! I say.


Any disappointments I may have had with my first weaving project were washed away as soon as Slim saw it and said, "Mommy, is that for me? Can I have it?"

So instead of a fuzzy crooked table runner (just what we need on our frequently crumb-y table), we have a warm, soft scarf for a very special little boy who is starting Pre-K next Monday.