The secret Hanukkah and Christmas weaving is going slowly, but to pass the time, the Cap'n sat with me last night and read from the book we're going through together, Endurance by Alfred Lansing.
If you have any chance to read this book or listen to it, DO IT. It is an amazing book, detailed in its descriptions and beautifully written. The Cap'n and I were wondering last night why it has not been made into a movie yet, but I guess they did do a TV version. (Usually I like Kenneth Branaugh, so it might be good...)
The book fits in with my thinking after the trauma of the accident this summer: Things could always be worse. Right now, when little anxieties or worries start itching me, I think back to slogging through all the crap that we went through, how horrible everything was, and I get some perspective back.
I've not been good with perspective in my life. Going through the Academy, the rough years at college, overwhelmed postpartum, I got so easily swamped with worry and sucked into dark places where I couldn't see any light.
I wonder if your anxiety reaches such a high level, like it did for me this summer, you burn out the brain receptors that make it easy for worry to kick in? Or if there is a one-way mirror in my brain to a room where all the scenes from the hospital and this summer reside, so that if I start getting anxious, I can peek through there and realize: It's not that bad.
I hope so. I hope this perspective endures.