A New Start

I got emotional today saying goodbye to the Cap'n as he headed off to his first day back at work after the accident.

This has been a really long, hard road. Almost 5 months of times I wasn't sure I knew how to get through, when they were happening.

The accident definitely changed me. It rubbed off some of the blurriness about what's important and what I want to do and have in my life. In some ways, I feel strangely mellow, as if the high anxiety of the past few months has made my usual anxiety seem like that not that big a deal.

We were off on vacation last week in NC, and at the time I started feeling sad. Getting the first bit of literal distance from DC and the accident gave me a better perspective on all I could have lost. I'll probably start talking to a therapist about it.

In some ways, I know I haven't dealt with all of the accident fallout yet, but in other ways I feel better about myself and my relationship with the Cap'n, knowing we can handle something that big.

I know I just want to keep moving forward. I've made a list of things I want to work on and accomplish this year, and that's what I am going to focus on. Sometimes there is no way through but through.

On that note: I signed up for a weaving class, but unfortunately had to miss the first one this weekend with an awful cold. First time I've ever lost my voice! But I should be back in the saddle to start next weekend...I can't wait.

And oh, all the other projects I have to show you....

He Can Rock a Turban

You know the Cap'n has style when he can even rock a turban.

Oy, with the crooked weaving...this one is supposed to be a scarf, but it has a complete C-curve in it.

Le Sigh.

How Harry Potter Almost Ruined My Marriage

Praise Dumbledore! The Cap'n is finally finished with Book 5.

The Cap'n and I have been late arrivals to the Harry Potter phenomenon. We only started reading Book 1 to each other in the car on the way to NYC in June. We finished it just before he left for Iraq.

I read Book 2 and Book 3 in a day each before he left, so he took those with him to Iraq.

I was no better than him...when the boys and I traveled to Indiana to visit my family, I took full advantage of the free babysitting and devoured Book 4. Before I even finished, I sent my stepdad out on a mad hunt for Books 5 and 6. I ended up finishing Book 7 in a night (9:00pm to 4:30am).

I still miss reading the books. I am glad that I was able to read the series in one go and not have to wait in between installments. I really thought they were marvelous, a tad overwritten, but a wonderful story with great characters. I wish they had been around when I was going through my teenage angst. I thought she did a great job of capturing what it means to grow into oneself.

The Cap'n remained a skeptic through Book 3. "They're okay," I believe I heard. When we got back from Ocracoke, he started on Book 4.

And that's when Harry Potter almost ruined my marriage.

For the last three weeks, the Cap'n's preferred bedtime companions have been those not-so-little volumes of Books 4 and 5. He finished Book 4 sometime after midnight one night and immediately cracked Book 5.

His schedule has been staying up to 2 or 3 in the morning to read, and sleeping in late. We do recall, do we not, when the children wake up? Let's just average it out to 6 a.m., to take into account those 5:30 mornings and those 7:00 mornings.

Some of those mornings, the Cap'n was very lucky that I couldn't make the Avada Kedavra work.

So back on the Grand Tour of 2007, I left Books 6 and 7 in NC so my dad could read them. They are still there, and are going to stay for a while. Maybe the Cap'n can have them around Thanksgiving and Christmas, so he has a few days to dedicate to them.

We're going to have to parcel out the remaining Potter.

Warsh the Slate Clean

Tap, tap.

This thing on?

Hello again.

What do you say we just warsh the slate clean? Start afresh. Forget the last three and a half months and call it a new day, a new blog, a new muthaknitter.

Hmm?

Here...




A humble warshcloth. The Mason-Dixon ballband warshcloth, to be exact.

It's one of a matched pair, out of the incomparable Sugar 'n' Cream cotton in red and Christmas colors (red, green and white). Two balls, two warshclothes. Both gifted in thanks for a wonderful vacation on Ocracoke Island after three very stressful months.

And, yes. Those are the only two knitted objects I have managed to complete in months. Thanks for asking.

Let's see. When last we left the Muthaknitter, much excitement was brewing re: a new house, a new baby and a move.

"Let me 'splain. No. There is too much. Let me sum up." -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

Bullet points for brevity:

• We moved.
• The floors weren't quite done.
• They fixed them.
• Then we unpacked.
• My sister visited, and she helped us unpack some more.
• The Cap'n packed for Iraq.
• I tried to find a renter for the new house so I could travel.
• The two renters I found fell through.
• I packed the boys and I for a long trip.
• The Cap'n left for Iraq.
• The boys and I drove 3200 miles to Indiana, NC and Brooklyn.
• I read all 7 Harry Potter books in 3 weeks.
• The Cap'n came back from Iraq.
• We left for Ocracoke for vacation.
• We came back from Ocracoke.
• We unpacked again.
• The Little Lion turned 6 months.
• My sister came to visit. (We didn't make her unpack this time.)
• I celebrated my 31st birthday.
• I MET HER! I HELD THE SOCK!! REALLY!!! SQUEE!!!!
• The Cap'n's dad is visiting.

I know I'm forgetting some things, but you get the idea. It's been busy. I am tired. Really, bone-numbingly exhausted. Not "gee, I sure would like a nap," but more like pin-a-note-on-my-shirt "You must remember not to shake the children" tired.

No one told me how things change when the kids outnumber you. They are on tag-team nap schedules, and one likes to get up early and the other stay up late. It's a good damn thing they're cute, or they would have been on the evening news by now.

I am going to try to blog a little each week to dip my toes back in the bloggy water. I've been inspired by the new Vogue Knitting, and really want to start some new things. But I'm also anxious to put a few FOs behind me, and with some fringe here, a sleeve there, I should be able to make progress on them.

Anywho, a jolly hello out there to any readers I have left. I've missed the blog, and I promise to keep you all up to date on the new and improved Chez Muthaknitter, blogging from the block, NOFla-style. (That's north of Florida, for you DCizens.)

I leave you with the clan on the Hatteras to Ocracoke ferry, safe and sound and happy after a summer of moving and traveling. (Shiny, happy people alert!)

Possum in the Day

I felt for this poor girl (I'm sure it's a mom) when I saw her in our neighborhood the other day as I was walking the kids home from the park. It's a bit how I've felt lately, like I'm not in the right time or place at the right moment.

It's been more than a week since a blog post, and I haven't been doing much knitting either. Lady Eleanor is on the last full row, and I'm dragging my feet on finishing her. I think I'm going to miss this knit. What do you do when you're having so much fun with a project you don't want it to end?

The Cap'n is gone again for work (4 times in the last two months since Little Baby was born), and the boys and I need to find more activities to do. We've hit Air and Space and Natural History twice each within the last month. Toddler yoga and music classes only fill up two mornings a week.

I've started packing for the move next month, but I need to get the place really clean for an open house that our landlord wants to hold in two weeks. The Cap'n thinks magic packing gnomes are going to take care of everything in the next 3 weeks, but I can really only get things done when the boys are asleep. Which doesn't give me any time to rest.

And if you have any good mojo to send us, please keep it coming our way to make sure this house closing goes well on May 31.

Little Baby weighed in at 12 POUNDS, 6 OUNCES at his 2-month checkup, which despite the 4-pound gain, only puts him at the 50th percentile. Yet he's so much bigger than Slim and his 10th-percentile-weighing-self. We'll get an update on him at his 2-year checkup next month.

So let's tally: 1. Moving, 2. New Baby, 3. Work absences (for the Cap'n). We'll forget: 4. Law school apps, 5. Summer birthdays (eek! I gotta plan Slim's party!) and travel.

Boy. I am tired.

Bloggy Inspirations

I've been inspired by a few of my co-knitbloggers over the last few days, and this post is going to play off their writing considerably.

Laura issued a weight loss challenge Monday. I'm now one month post-baby, and I am itching to get into shape and fit into my old clothes. One could say that controlling my weight would be a way for me to get control over at least some area of my life amidst the chaos of baby, toddler and house searching.

If one had ever taken Psych 101. (See what you get when you visit my blog? Sarcasm for free. You're welcome.)

I did not gain as much with Baby Dos, but I am way over what I was pre-Slim. But more importantly, I don't feel like I'm in shape. I'm getting back to walking a lot (44 blocks yesterday pushing 50 lbs of stroller and kids!) but I'm not sure if I could run around the park.

I have a life goal (probably not this year, but maybe next) of running a marathon. And as my dad, a longtime runner, said, I should probably be able to run at least around the block before actually starting marathon training.

I also want to learn how to eat healthier. It's always been my weakness, and many years ago, I had a particularly unhealthy relationship with food and eating. I am addicted to sweet things, and I want to learn how to say no to candy bars and yes to green things.

So I'm going to join Laura's Weight Loss Challenge and try to meet some goals while cheering my fellow knitbloggers on in their weight loss goals. Here we go:

Deadline: September 23, my 31st birthday (I wanna be one hot mama in my 30s!)
Starting weight: 186
Goal weight: 156 (pre-baby weight) In 22 weeks, this should be doable.
Exercise goal: Twice weekly yoga practice and running 10 miles a week
Food goal: Eating a salad for one meal everyday (with or without additional courses)

Yarn goal: No stash acquisition until my birthday

Yarn REWARD: A skein of really nice (and I mean N-I-C-E) yarn for every 10 pounds lost

Like Laura, I want the blog to keep me honest and accountable. I will try to update the blog every week or so, and I'll get the Cap'n to take a starting photo of me tomorrow. Luck to all of us!!

Carrie talked recently about the crumbs of life. I've been thinking about the image of crumbs when I think of how my time is broken up into tiny pieces while spending 24/7 meeting the needs of two tiny human beings who rely on me. I think back to the years BK (before kids), and I miss the time I had alone to myself to daydream, to read and to just take naps whenever I felt like it. (Imagine what kind of knitting I could have accomplished!)

Sometimes, even though I know I'm doing an important job taking care of the boys, I question if I've lost my way. I wonder if I'll only be known from now on as someone's mom, and not as my own person. I wonder if I've left the path I was supposed to be on in life.

I think I'm tired and need sleep.

But back to blogging...all I have now are crumbs of time to blog, to knit, to shower, to exercise, to kiss my husband, to read, to sleep. I have to make do, somehow. I have to get more organized, to make each of those moments count. It's all I can do.

Hannah asked what inspires us. It reminded me that I've also been meaning to do a regular blog posting on the "Everyday Creative." I am often inspired by the things around me in my home. We have alot of the Cap'n's mom's artwork and some fiber pieces that I'd like to feature on the blog as they inspire me. They help me take advantage of those crumbs of time as they come along.

I haven't put much time in on Lady Eleanor lately, but I'm hoping she grows this week. I'm at Tier 15 of 35, but I will probably go up to 40 if I have the yarn. We're heading out today for our friends' wedding in Edisto, S.C., so hopefully 9 hours of driving time will translate into some progress. Unless I fall asleep first.

And I have to say a big "THANK YOU" to Wanda. I won some beautiful laceweight yarn in her 3rd Blogiversary contest. That's the second contest I've won in the last few months.

I guess I'm one lucky knitter.

And for those (family) here just for baby pictures, a new hand-me-down for Little Baby so we can all play trains on the floor:

Feeling the Love

Gather ye blog time while ye may.

There are two restless, but still napping babies in the house, so after getting a couple more stitches in on Lady Eleanor, I want to get down some thoughts in the peace and quiet.

We've got the love around here.

Brotherly love...

This one pretty much sums up their personalities: Slim with his mouth open talking or screaming and Little Baby with his eyebrows knitted up as if to say, "what's with him?" (And Lady Eleanor resting in the background...)

Slim adores the Little Baby. He wants to hug him and pat him and share toys with him. And pacis, let's not forget those.

I'm already seeing some benefits of having these two so close together. But as I was describing to the Cap'n and to my midwife, it's overwhelming. I've not got the baby blues, but I feel outnumbered and outflanked for the better part of the day.

Perhaps I've got to get a new strategy. Think like the Spartans at the Hot Gates and outmaneuver the siege. Those boys haven't gotten me pinned down yet.

Baby Love...

It's been a different experience with Baby Dos. There wasn't the immediate adrenaline of infatuation brought on in large part by first-time parenting anxiety. It's been more like, "oh, here you are, kid. You're wonderful."

He's such a good baby, a good eater (not so much a sleeper) and already starting to smile. I adore him, just like I do Slim, but in a different way. And he's fit in so well to the family. It's like he already wants to be sitting up and taking part in the conversation around him.

Stroller Love...

Our Excellent Adventure continues. (KnittinSis thought it was a "Bill and Ted.") I can't believe how easy our new Phil & Ted is to maneuver and get out and around the neighborhood. It was expensive, but it's already paid off.

Knitterly Love...

The Lady Eleanor went on a ride with the Cap'n, our realtor and I to look at more houses. I'm 2/5 of the way through the tiers of rectangles, but just now through 1/3 of the yarn, so I think I may end up making it a little longer. I'm going to use up every smidgen of Noro I have.

Neighborly Love?

We put in an offer on a second house that I like better than the first one we tried for. I am crossing my fingers. There were a bunch of kids' toys on the porch next door, so we might even have some neighborhood play buddies for the boys. I like the location of this house better (closer to stuff to walk to) and it's in much better/move-in condition. Send some house vibes our way.

City Love...

Check out the new yarn pusher on the block! Neighborhood Fiber Co. is run by the awesome Karida, who plays a large role in my ongoing yarn obsession (though she probably doesn't know it). For one, she first gave the Cap'n recommendations of books to buy for me as knitting Hanukkah presents, so she is ultimately to credit for Scarf Style and the current Lady Eleanor. Also, she taught the sock class that got me hooked on socks, too! And she probably thought she was just working at a yarn store.

I'm going to take credit for inspiring Kingman Park (my favorite!). Go. Look. I dare you not to love it.

Husbandly Love...

Reason #52,789 Why I Love the Cap'n: Everytime he comes home from work trips (like today from an embed with the National Guard in Indiana), I can't help feeling fluttery and happy to see him. He's the best.

Sorry no knit pictures...but we'll try more tomorrow...I'm going to try to make shorter, more frequent posts so it doesn't take me so long to get these posted.

He's BACK!

The Cap'n has returned from Baghdad!! And look what he brought with him....(Bob, can we zoom in for a closeup on that ball band?)

Y'ALL. HE FOUND IRAQI YARN. 100% WOOL. (we think...maybe some mohair...)

Is my husband not the greatest?????

(There was so much excitement getting ready for his return, I'll post more later on the perfect hat/stash project.)

Sit 'n' Knit

I had the most fabulous, wonderous, splendiferous day today!!

I was sittin' and knittin'.

Grampy took Slim to the Air and Space Museum, which the boy never tires of. While they were enjoying the rocketships and learning about the solar system, I hauled down to my LYS.

Meanwhile, don't fret for the poor boy seeing the same museum twice in one week. Here's what he thought...

So I made good progress on my second sock, chatted about law school with a woman taking the bar this month (good luck, Lauren!) and laughed about picking kids' names with the LYS owner, who has a 3-month-old at home.

I must have fondled every yarn in the store, some twice. We dished about Interweave's new layout, and the general feeling was "eh, so-so." I dittoed other feedback I've heard about having a hard time telling the ads apart from the content and about separating the patterns from the pictures. I also would appreciate having the designers' names in the photos so you can tell who made each one. At least Vogue Knitting does that. I just got a subscription from my mom for Christmas, so I hope they go back to the old design a little bit.

But as far as new design goes, if you happen to make it up to NYC, take in the "Radical Lace and Subversive Knitting" show at the Museum of Art and Design. There were some fantastic pieces there, including my favorite: the Bobbin Lace Lamp made of fiber optic cable. Beautiful. The whole show was unique and inspiring.

I tell you, my mood is so much better with a little civilized knit time. Makes me worry that much less about the Cap'n embedding with an army patrol this weekend in Baghdad. He arranged flowers all the way from Iraq. Now that's something to live up to, guys!

Confinement Begins

My confinement is underway, and I couldn't be happier. No more traveling, just sitting at home and finishing up this baby. I'm reading up on this, since March 10 is getting closer...

And we have a heel!!

It's on to the foot of the second sock...I am definitely planning to finish these up, hopefully by the end of the week. IndyGrampy just got into town on the heels of NCGrandpa heading back home. So I'm hoping that Slim and Grampy can go enjoy the museums while I sit home and knit.

Slim had a great time with NCGrandpa (DiDa!), taking in a show at Air and Space's Einstein Planetarium. Snow and ice have literally kept us confined at home the last two days, so Slim is getting cabin fever. Tomorrow he's at least going to the park.

What we don't have is any baby handknits made by mummy. I still need to measure my garter swatch and see if I can work up a little something in the next few weeks. Luckily it's Aunt KnittinSis to the rescue!

I'll have to get her to leave a comment on what the yarns are. I think the little golden one has some alpaca in it and the cranberry one is made of leftovers from Uncle Ben's hat. Too cute!

Getting these, plus a new monkey rattle from LAAuntie, makes it more real that baby is getting closer. And I'm anxious that I'm not ready. No clothes laid out, no diapers, no co-sleeper set up. And NO HANDKNITS! Sigh.

But there's nothing like breaking a few fashion rules with your knitting to make you feel better!

Stop by Maryse's before tomorrow and show off your handknit sock style.

And before I sign off, I want to send a big Valentine's Day shout-out to my Cap'n. I had a dream last night that I was headed off to Iraq to report with him. Wouldn't that be fun?

My Cap'n is the man. He cooks gourmet meals and he's the best father I've ever seen. He tells me I'm beautiful even when I waddle, and even when he's thousands of miles away in a war zone. He gets my favorite joke in the whole wide world: Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks. (Think about it. heehee...)

Happy Valentine's Day, Cap'n. I love you.